


Picture Perfect

by funkytoes



Series: Silly HTTYD Fics That Shouldn't be Taken Seriously and Written mostly for Fun :) [1]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-18 23:34:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5947501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkytoes/pseuds/funkytoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Astrid hates her family meddling in her private life—so she picked a random guy in those placement photos in store bought picture frames, and pretended he was her boyfriend. Fast forward five years and while home for the holidays, she and her family run into said guy—and she has to convince him to play along with her years long lie. [Hiccstrid. Holidays. Modern. Fake Boyfriend AU] [Cross posted on FFnet]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I've had this account for a little while now... and have decided it was high time to start using it. I have a few fics on FFnet (under this name) and will be posting them here as well. This story was originally posted on FFnet, so you may have seen it before if you frequent that site. 
> 
> This story came about because I was writing a ghost story, and it was the holidays and I wanted to write something cheesy and cliche and fun and cute and happily-ever-after-esque. So I wrote this story to satisfy those needs. WARNING: this story is very cheesy. Like, four cheese pizza cheesy. You will need a bib to keep grease stains off your shirt. END WARNING.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the story!

“And your family doesn’t have a clue?” her roommate asked, sitting with her feet on the chair, tucking a dark strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Nope,” Astrid said, placing the open box on the counter. “Help me decide which of these I should use.”

“Still, don’t you feel, I don’t know… kind of bad? I mean, you’ve been lying to them for two years—”

“Five,” Astrid corrected, before, “that doesn’t make it better, does it?”

“No, darling,” Heather chuckled.

“Well, whatever keeps them off my back,” Astrid said. “Honestly, it’s like my family is convinced I’m this giant ticking clock, just waiting for the perfect man to sweep me off my feet and pump me full of babies.”

Heather made a face at the imagery, before venturing, “And it would be the end of the world for you to tell them the truth? That you’ve been  _single_ for the past five years when they thought you’ve been in a committed relationship?”

“And have them start setting me up with guys again? Do you remember the debacle of ’09?”

“Oh right,” Heather nodded.

“No, this is  _much_ better,” Astrid said, taking out one of the picture frames, staring at the contents. 

To her family and friends of Berk, the man posing in the placement photo was the man of her life. Her boyfriend of five years. He was handsome, that’s why she chose his photographs, but not  _too_ eye catching. He was  _normal_ looking, the kind of guy you brought home to your family. With his messed auburn hair, large, intelligent green eyes, and that quirky, half-smile… He was  _exactly_ the kind of man her family would want her to have.

“Don’t you think your family is going to catch on when another year has passed and they haven’t  _met_ this awesome guy?” Heather asked.

“What? He’s dedicated to the local soup kitchens,” Astrid said, shrugging and sending Heather a grin. “My family loves that.”

“Don’t you think they’ll want to see him eventually?” Heather prompted. “And besides—it’s been five years. Don’t you think they’re going to expect something more?”

“What do you mean?” Astrid asked her.

“I mean…” Heather wiggled her shoulders a little before sighing. “I mean, you’ve been ‘together’ for five years. Either it’s going somewhere or it isn’t. Which is it?”

“You mean…” Astrid put the frame down and crossed her arms, “You think he would propose by now?”

“I guess?” Heather said. “I mean, where do  _you_ see this relationship going?”

“I don’t know,” Astrid said, deadpan, “He’s a picture in a frame. The extent of our ‘relationship’ is the inside of my wallet.”

“Kinky,” Heather said. “Still, you need to protect your cover.”

“I don’t have time for this,” Astrid said, throwing up her hands and grabbing the pictures. “I’m going to scan these before I leave for the airport.”

“I still think lying to your family is going to bite you in the butt someday!” Heather called after her, as Astrid walked to her bedroom to get ready.

* * *

 

Astrid ignored the flight attendant’s worried inquiries as she debarked the plane, holding the bag in front of her. She paused at the gate, wondering how long it would take for her body to get used to still land. After a moment, she threw the full bag away and walked towards baggage claim.

“Astrid!” 

She turned to see Alicia walk towards her, pulling her into a tight embrace.

“Al,” Astrid returned the hug. “Not to tight! What about the baby?”

“The  _baby_ is fine,” Alicia said, stepping back. “Unless  _you’ve_  got something to tell me?”

“Oh no,” Astrid shook her head vigorously. “Trust me that is  _not_ — not  _even_ in the ball park.”

“Is that so?” Alicia said, raising her eyebrows. She looked her over, “You don’t look so good.”

“Oh, I… I got motion sickness of the flight,” Astrid said, “I’m fine now.”

“Really? You never get sick when flying,” Alicia said, frowning.

“I think I ate some bad peanuts—or something, I’m fine, really,” Astrid said. She spotted her luggage, and grabbed it. 

“So, Jason didn’t come with you this year?” Alicia said, sounding disappointed. “You know, we’re starting to think he’s  _avoiding_ us.”

“Oh no, no,” Astrid said, walking with her sister towards the parking garage. “He’s just really busy this year—lots of volunteering.”

“Yeah, we know. He’s got some perfect hobbies,” Alicia said, shrugging. “You know what refusing to meet the family means, don’t you?”

“What does it mean?” Astrid asked, mentally preparing herself for the lecture she was about to receive.

“It  _means_ he’s not serious,” Alicia said.

Astrid rolled her eyes, “He’s  _serious_ , Al. He’s just busy.”

“I would believe that if any of us had  _met_ the guy,” Al muttered.

“He’s serious,” Astrid insisted. “In fact… he’s proposed.”

“What?!” Alicia stopped, grabbing Astrid by the arm. “He  _proposed_?” her eyes flew to Astrid’s hand.

“There’s no ring yet,” Astrid said quickly, “You know how picky I am about that stuff. He wanted the proposal to be a surprise, but wanted me to pick out the ring. He proposed last night.”

“Oh!” Alicia’s face was bursting at the seams.

“It’s not a big deal, and actually, I’d prefer if you didn’t tell…” Astrid paused, “Actually, you can tell everyone.”

“This is... this is  _great,_  Astrid,” Alicia said, as she unlocked her car and got into the driver’s seat. Astrid put her luggage in the back and got into the passenger side of the front. “You’re going to  _love_ being married. And maybe even kids some day?” She started the car and began the drive to the suburbs. “I mean, would I have preferred to have  _met_ the guy?  _Yes_. But if half the things you say about him are true, he’s swell.”

“Swell?” Astrid asked.

“Eric has been really into Downton Abbey,” Alicia explained. “I swear, I sound like a flapper nowadays. You’re getting married after spring, right?”

“What?”

“I’m due in April,” Alicia said, “I need to get my body back before I walk down an aisle. I’m your maid of honor right? Right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Astrid said, nodding.

“Because you were  _my_ maid of honor, and you’re my little sis, and god be damned if I’m not going to be yours,” Alicia said. 

“You can  _be_ my maid of honor,” Astrid said.

“Good!” Alicia said. There was a long pause, before, “So what made him propose? I mean, we were expecting it like four years ago.”

“Oh, just… things,” Astrid said. 

“What things?”

“You know… stuff,” Astrid said. “Personal stuff. I’m not ready to talk about it.”

Alicia shot her a look, the look that made Astrid know she was trying to figure something out. “Okay,” Alicia said slowly, but Astrid knew this was not the last time this would come up.

“Oh!” Astrid pointed at a shop, “Do you mind if we stop here? I want to get Stormfly some of the good stuff.”

“Sure,” Alicia said, pulling into the parking lot. “You know, if you care so much about what that dog of yours eats, you should just take her to live with  _you_.”

“I can’t afford an apartment that allows dogs,” Astrid said, hopping out of the car. “You coming?”

“Well, I suppose there won’t be anything I can stuff my face with in there, so why not,” Alicia got out the car and walked with her into the pet store. 

Astrid bee lined for dog food aisle, and Alicia followed at a much slower rate. 

“So,” Alicia said, standing behind her, “What is this reason you got engaged? After five years of strictly dating?”

“I told you, I’m not ready to talk about it,” Astrid said.

“Well, I’m not going to take no for an answer, so be prepared to tell me eventu… Jason?” 

Astrid didn’t respond, while her sister walked off.

“Oh my god,” she heard her sister say, “It  _is_ you! Oh wow, I’m Alicia, Astrid’s older sister—it’s so nice to finally meet you!”

Jason… Astrid puzzled. Who does she know besides her fake boyfriend that goes by that name?

“What?” she heard a man’s voice respond, sounding oddly nasal.

“Alicia?” her sister said, sounding slightly bemused. “Astrid, look who showed up!”

Astrid looked over. Her heart leapt into her throat as she dropped the can of food, eyes widening as the puzzled face of her fake boyfriend stared back at her in confusion, not a two dimensional picture in a picture frame at all, but a living, breathing person.   


	2. Chapter 2

“Uh,” the man said, glancing at Alicia before looking at Astrid. “Wh—”

“Jason!” Astrid said, her voice slightly more squealy than normal as she tried to fight the unusual feeling of panic rising from her chest. She ran over to him, pulling him into a tight embrace, whispering an apology in his ear when he tensed at their sudden close contact. “I can’t believe you came! This is Alicia, my sister,” Astrid waved her hand in her older sister’s direction.

The man stared down at Astrid with a shocked expression, before looking at Alicia. He gave Alicia a small smile, before turning his head to peer down at Astrid again. “I think you have the wr—”

“Come with me,” Astrid interrupted, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the aisle to one a few down.

“I think you have the wrong… person,” he said, still staring at her. He glanced over his shoulder, before looking back at her. “My name isn’t Jason.”

“I know,” she said, “I just need you to pretend it is.”

“What?” his thick russet brows furrowed, and the puzzled look on his face deepened.

She dug in her purse and took out her phone, opening the photo app and finding one of his pictures. She showed it to him, and his eyebrows rose. “I’m been pretending this man—you—have been my boyfriend for the last five years,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “If my family finds out that I’ve been lying to them, I’m screwed.”

“You want me… to pretend… to be your boyfriend?” he asked, blinking rapidly at her as he seemed to try to grasp to concept.

“Yeah, I’ll pay you whatever,” she said, “Just… just play along.”

“Who  _are_  you?” he asked, still staring at her as if he couldn’t quite believe what she was saying.

“Oh right, right,” she said, nodding, “Names.  _I’m_  Astrid Hofferson.  _You’re_  Jason Page.”

“My name is Hiccup,” he said, before Astrid spotted Alicia walking around the corner, standing at the end of the aisle.

“Is everything okay?” Alicia asked, looking at them worriedly.

“Absolutely!” Astrid said, about to put an arm around him, before realizing touching strangers would be inappropriate. She walked around him over to Alicia. “I just need to get some food for Stormfly, and then we can be on our way. Are you going to follow us?” she turned to smile expectantly at Jason—Hiccup.

“Um…”

Astrid widened her eyes, attempting to send a mental message that would convince him to follow along. “Please,” she mouthed.

He sighed, and said, “Sure, I follow you in my car.”

“Great,” Astrid said, smiling, relief evident in her voice. “Let’s go pick out some dog food.”

“Good,” he said, walking after them, “Cause I need to get some for Toothless.”

“Toothless?” Alicia asked, glancing over her shoulder at Hiccup.

“My dog,” Hiccup said, sending her a forced smile. “Which reminds me.” He whistled, and they heard a loud bark from the other end of the store, and the pitter patter of paws and a large black dog came running around the corner. Astrid’s eyes widened when she realized the dog was running on three legs.

“Your dog?” Alicia frowned. “You never mentioned Jason had a dog,” she told Astrid.

“Must have forgotten,” Astrid said.

“Funny,” Hiccup said, scratching the dog behind the ears. “He’s my best friend.” He looked at Astrid, and she could read a challenge in his eyes.

Alicia looked at Astrid expectantly, who just shrugged slowly, saying, “I can’t believe I never told you.”

“Well,” Alicia said, “Let’s get the dog food and head home ‘cause Mom and Dad are going to pissed if we miss dinner.”

“Right,” Astrid said, “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

Checkout was an awkward affair. Astrid and Hiccup checked out separately, and Astrid could feel Alicia’s hard gaze studying them.  _This isn’t good_ , she thought to herself, wondering how this model ended up in a random pet store in  _her town_ , at the same god damn moment she was there with her sister.

“So,” Alicia said, “You have a car?”

“Yeah,” Hiccup said.

“How’d you get that here?”

“Here?”

“On Berk,” Alicia said, as they exited the pet store. “I mean, it’d be a little much to ferry it over from Bog just for the holidays.”

“Bog?”

Astrid nudged him, and he quickly said “—oh yeah, yeah, well, I do some work here in Berk, and I keep a car here to uh, drive,” he finished awkwardly.

“You do work here in Berk?” Alicia said, blinking at him. She looked at Astrid before looking back at him, “I wonder why this is the first time we’re meeting.”

“He’s very busy, sis, you know that,” Astrid said.

“Well,” Alicia said, “We should probably hurry—you know how Mom gets when people are tardy.”

“Right,” Astrid said, “Jason and I will follow you in his car.”

“Alright,” Alicia said slowly, eyeing them again before getting into her car and driving off.

“Okay,” Hiccup said, putting up his hands, “What  _exactly_  is going on and  _why_  do I have to drive you to your parents?”

“Look,” Astrid said, putting her own hands up in a kind of prayer. Begging, was more like it. “If my family finds out you’re not real—they’ll have my head. Okay? They won’t forgive me. And, in fact, they’ll start setting me up with random guys and I…” she trailed off, looking at Hiccup. He was looking at her with a wide-eyed expression.

“You… you want me to go to your parents’ house, and pretend to be your boyfriend there?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yeah,” she said, “If you are willing.”

“No, I…” he sighed. “No, it’s just—I don’t think I’ll be able to do a convincing job.”

“Why’s that?” she asked.

“It’s just,” he waved a hand between them, gesturing to the both of them. “Do you really think they’re going to be convinced a guy like me could get a girl like you?”

He colored instantly, and she found her own cheeks heating up slightly.

“I mean,” he said quickly, “It’s just you—you’re… really… I mean…”

“No, no,” she said, “I mean, they’ve been convinced I’ve been dating you for five years, and they’ve seen your pictures—and they like what I tell them about you, so… I think they’ll love you.”

An awkward silence ensued, until Hiccup said, “Alright, I’ll do it. Only because it means I don’t have to go to the holiday party at work.”

“Great,” Astrid said, relief washing over her, “And I’ll pay you whatever you want—just name it, it’s yours. Which is your car?”

“That one,” Hiccup said, pointing at a car. It was one of those environmentally-friendly ones, probably a hybrid or electric. He unlocked it and opened the front door for Toothless, and the dog hopped in. “You’ll have to share with him,” he told her. “He only rides in the front with me, and I don’t chauffeur.”

“Thanks,” she said, getting in.

She wondered why the dog was named Toothless—for he had, it seemed, most of his teeth. The dog sniffed her, and she asked Hiccup, “Can I pet him?”

“Sure,” he said, as he started driving. He got to the exit of the parking lot and asked, “Which way?”

“Right,” she told him.

She put her hand out for Toothless to sniff, and the dog licked it. She smiled, and scratched the back of his ears the way she saw Hiccup had done, and the dog wagged his tail appreciatively.

“You’re a dog person?” Hiccup asked her.

“Yup,” she said, “I’ve got my own dog but I can’t have her where I live—so she stays with my parents.”

“Which way?” he asked, once they got to an intersection.

“Straight,” Astrid said, “Then another right, and you’ll be in my neighborhood.”

“So you live on Bog?” Hiccup asked. “I’ve got some friends there.”

“Really?” Astrid asked. There was a few minutes of silence, where Astrid wasn’t sure if she should strike up a conversation or not. “Okay, this is my house,” she said, pointing.

Hiccup pulled onto the side of the street, peering out her window. “Nice,” he said, and she knew he was talking about the decorations.

“Thanks, my family goes a little overboard,” she said, getting out of the car. Toothless jumped out after her, sniffing the ground.

“You should see my dad’s best friend,” Hiccup said, “ _He_  goes overboard.”

“Really?” Astrid said, grinning at him. She was about to say ‘you’ll have to show me’, but realized this man was  _not_  really her boyfriend. He was just some random stranger who reluctantly agreed to pretend to be her boyfriend for the evening. “Hey, before we go in, I just want to thank you—and I’m so sorry, and… I really hope when this is all over you’re not… emotionally scarred or anything.”

He opened his mouth, and she winced when he hesitated. Too late for avoidance of  _that_ , it seemed. “It’ll be fun,” he said, giving her an unenthusiastic shrug.

Suddenly the front door opened, a grey pointer came running out across the lawn and jumping up onto Astrid.

“Stormfly!” Astrid said, bending down and rubbing the dogs face. “How are you girl? Guess what? I got you special food—not like the gross kibble Grandma gets you.”

The dog sniffed the bag, before noticing Toothless. The two dogs inspected each other, before seeming to decide that the other was a decent fellow.

“Astrid, is that you? Why didn’t you come with Al?” Astrid heard her mom call.

“Come on,” Astrid said, taking a deep breath and walking up the steps of the porch to the front door. “Hey mom,” she said, smiling.

“Hey,” her mom stood in the doorway, smiling at Astrid and pulling her into a strong embrace. “So nice to see you, kid.” Suddenly, her mother stiffened, and then let go of her, looking past Astrid with a puzzled, and then exuberant, expression. “Jason?” she asked, unbelieving.

“Uh, hi,” Hiccup said, waving awkwardly at the top of the stairs.

“Mom,” Astrid said, backing up and putting an arm around Hiccup. After a moment’s hesitation, he put an arm around her shoulders. “I would like you to meet Jason, my… boyfriend.”

“Oh!” her mother stepped onto the porch, opening her arms, “Let me hug you!”

Astrid let go of Hiccup and watched as he was pulled into a tight embrace. He looked at her, a somewhat scared look on his face, but she just shrugged and mouthed a quick sorry. Her mother broke off the hug, holding him at arm’s length. “Look at you! You’re so tall! Astrid, you never mentioned he was so tall! And he’s so handsome too! Oh, come in, come in,” she stepped into the house, calling Stormfly as she did. Both Stormfly and Toothless rushed in, and her mother looked startled for a moment.

“That’s Toothless, Mom,” Astrid said, “Jason’s dog.”

“Oh, well, the more the merrier,” her mother said as Hiccup and Astrid stepped into the brightly lit living room.

“Look, everyone!” her mother said as Astrid shut the front door behind them. “Look who Astrid  _finally_  brought home!”

“Jason!” Astrid’s father stood up, walking over and shaking Hiccup’s hand. “Nice to meet you, lad— _finally…”_ he chuckled.

“Nice to… meet you too,” Hiccup said hesitantly.

“That’s my sister Alicia, you’ve met her,” Astrid said, pointing, “That’s her husband Eric—their son Jacob—that’s my brother Aaron—and his wife Carol.”

Hiccup looked around the room, looking quite like a deer in the headlights with all the attention pouring onto him. “It’s, uh, nice to... finally meet you all,” he managed.

“So,” her mother said, grinning at them, “Alicia said you have some exciting news to tell us, but I suppose that’s  _you_ being here, Jason.”

“No it isn’t,” Alicia cut in.

“Yes it is,” Astrid said hurriedly, when Hiccup sent her a questioning and panicked look.

“Really, what is it?” her mother looked at Alicia before looking back at Astrid.

“Nothing. Surprise! Jason’s here,” Astrid said, hoping Alicia wouldn’t—

“They’re engaged,” Alicia said.

“What?” their parents gasped.

“ _What?”_  Hiccup hissed, looking at Astrid with wide eyes.

“What?” Astrid whispered back to him, making a pained, apologetic face, before turning to face her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the plot thickens… I just want to reiterate that this story is short and extremely cheesy. Don't take off your bib. Keep a washcloth at the ready. You have been warned.
> 
> Next Chapter: Find out how Hiccup responds to having a fake fiancé!


	3. Chapter 3

“I didn’t tell him I told you,” Astrid told Alicia from across the room, glaring at her.

“I had no idea,” her mother said, her voice awed, “I didn’t see a ring so I just assumed—”

“He’s letting me pick out the ring,” Astrid said quickly. “He proposed last night.”

“Did he really?” her mother smiled at them, “How _wonderful_.”

“Yes, how wonderful,” Hiccup muttered just loud enough for her to hear. She gave his arm a squeeze, before asking, “Is dinner ready?”

“Yes, yes,” her father ushered them into the dining room. “We’ve been waiting for you—but it’s all still hot and good and delicious, if I do say so myself. Karen, Karen! We need another place—” her father disappeared into the kitchen, and both her parents reemerged with the necessary utensils and chair. “You can sit next to Astrid,” her father said, sitting down at the head of the table. Once they had all finished sitting, Astrid’s father said a quick prayer, began carving the ham, and food was passed around.

“So, Jason,” her father said, “What made you finally propose?”

“Albert!” her mother said sharply.

“I’m just saying—you’ve been dating for five years. When Astrid’s mother and I were dating I bought a ring after two months.”

“Albert…” her mother sighed, “Jason, you don’t have to answer that question.”

“I want to know,” Alicia said, gazing intently at Hiccup. “Why’d you propose? Some of us were thinking you weren’t serious about our girl.”

Astrid peered at Hiccup, waiting to see how he’d respond. He seemed to have frozen—either in fear or stage fright, she didn’t know. “I… uh…” he began, looking at Astrid desperately for help.

“I told him, a long time ago, I wasn’t interested in marriage or starting a family,” Astrid said, “As you all know, my career is very important to me. So he never asked. But, recently, I’ve had a change of heart,” she paused, glancing at Hiccup, who was visibly relaxing.

“I was just waiting for the right moment,” he finally said.

“Oh, well, that’s great,” Carol said, smiling at him.

They started eating once everything was served, and Astrid noticed that Hiccup seemed to be hardly touching his food, and wondered if he perhaps somehow didn’t enjoy her father’s cooking, or if he was just uncomfortable. Probably the latter, she thought to herself as she stuffed honey glazed ham in her mouth—there wasn’t a soul on earth who didn’t like Albert Hofferson’s cooking.

“I hear you’re an engineer,” her father began, causing Hiccup to choke on a piece of asparagus and turn to look at Astrid, shocked.

“Yeah, he is—one of the best in Bog,” Astrid said, “Isn’t that right sweetheart?”

“How…” he whispered, staring at her, “How did you…”

“I dabble in that myself,” her father continued, “I work with my hands a lot—I like to create things. Perhaps tomorrow I can take you back to my shed and show you what I’ve been working on.”

Hiccup tore his eyes away from Astrid, looking back at her father, “Yeah, sure.”

“Oh, no,” Astrid said quickly, “There’s no need to bother Jason with those contraptions.” The last thing she needed was Hiccup revealing he _wasn’t_ an engineer, and was in fact just some model with no knowledge of such things. The truth would come out real quick.

“No really, I don’t mind,” Hiccup said, and he suddenly frowned, leaning towards Astrid and whispering quietly enough so only she could hear, “I’m not _staying the night,_ am I?”

Astrid opened her mouth to speak, before Alicia rose, and said, “Alright folks, I say, now that the meal is almost over, we make a toast.”

“You’re not even drinking alcohol,” Astrid pointed out.

“Well, neither is _Jacob,”_ Alicia pointed at her son, before raising her glass of sparkling cider, “To Astrid and Jason, may you have long, happy, and fruitful years ahead of you.”

Cheers went up around the table, and they all drank, though Astrid and Hiccup barely took a sip.

“If we had known you were coming I would have made dessert,” her mother said, once they had finished.

“We’re all thankful you didn’t, my love,” her father said with a wink, and her mother rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean, don’t you, Jason?”

Hiccup looked at Astrid expectantly.

Astrid rolled her eyes as well. “Come on, dad, I’m not as bad as mom.”

While everyone laughed, Astrid and her mother included, people began getting up from the table and clearing the dishes.

“I’m sure the two of you are exhausted from your trip,” her mother said, “You can go right upstairs. Astrid, your suitcase is already up in your room—Jason, is your stuff still in the car?”

Hiccup opened his mouth to speak, and finally said, “There was a problem with baggage—my suitcase was displaced. It’s supposed to arrive tomorrow—I’ll pick it up then.”

“I’ll drive you,” Astrid’s father offered.

“No, I have a car. I… rented it,” Hiccup said, eliciting a strange look from Alicia.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have, you could have used ours,” her mother said. “Well, no matter—why don’t you two go upstairs, shower, and you can come down if you want or go right to bed. It’s… oh my, it’s already nine-thirty.”

“I think that’s our cue,” Alicia said, lifting her sleepy son into her husband’s arms. She walked over to Astrid, pulling her into an embrace, “It was nice seeing you, sis. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“Right,” Astrid said, as Alicia and her family left the house. “Well, let’s go… to my room.” She turned and began walking out of the dining room, Hiccup following hesitantly. They reached the front door, which was in front of the stairs, and he stopped. “What’s wrong?” she asked, pausing on the steps.

“Um… where—am I staying the night?” he asked, “Or—and am I…”

“What’s the matter?” Astrid’s mother walked in, “Is everything okay?”

“You know, I can stay at a hotel, if it’s a bother,” Hiccup said.

“That might be a good idea—the house is going to be pretty crazy,” Astrid said hurriedly.

“Nonsense!” Astrid’s mother said, placing a hand on each ample hip. “You’ll stay here, nothing else to say about it.”

“What’s going on?” her father entered the living room, looking at them questioningly.

“Hiccup thought he should stay in a _hotel_ ,” her mother told him.

“What?” her father looked at them in surprise and indignation. “Of course not! You’ll stay here, in Astrid’s room.”

When Astrid and Hiccup both started to protest, he continued, “We’re a modern family, and besides, you’re engaged! Nowadays that leaves little to the imagination,” he chuckled. “Go on upstairs, get settled—and if Astrid’s bed is too small you two can sleep in our room.”

Hiccup and Astrid exchanged a look, before begrudgingly trudging up the stairs. Once she was sure they were out of her parents’ earshot, she said, “I’m so sorry about all this.”

Hiccup merely grunted, and suddenly he paused, whistled, and Toothless came bounding up the steps. “Do you mind if he sleeps with us?”

“Not if you don’t mind Stormfly,” she replied. “Do you want to take a shower?”

“I showered already today and didn’t travel,” he reminded her.

“Right,” she said. “That’s good because my parents will probably expect us to shower together.”

He coughed slightly, turning a tad pink at this statement, as she said, “Here,” opening the door to her room and stepping inside, turning on the light. Hiccup entered, looking around.

As Hiccup looked around, seeming genuinely interested in what he saw, she began opening her suit case, and taking out her pajamas. “I’m going to take a shower. Don’t… touch anything.”

“I won’t,” he said, sitting on the bed, before standing quickly.

“You don’t have to do that,” she said. “You can sit down if you like.”

He sat down slowly, Toothless laying his head on Hiccup’s knee.

“Well, I’ll be back,” she said, opening the door to her private bath.

As she got in the shower, it hit her that she knew next to nothing about this guy who was pretending to be her boyfriend for the night—until the next day when they would find a way to end this charade without ruining everything she’s depended on the last few years.

He was so different than she imagined him to be. The man in the photograph, the man she had relayed to her family and family friends, was a suave and cool guy. He could have intelligent conversations with anyone—and was always up for a good debate. That was Jason. This _Hiccup_ was different. Sure they looked the same, although Hiccup was older, since the photographs were all taken over five years ago. Sure, he seemed like an intelligent person, when not put on the spot or made to feel uncomfortable… but he was so… so…

“Such a dork,” she finally said, as she rinsed out the conditioner. She washed her body, and got out, quickly rubbing herself dry with a towel and getting into her pj’s. She hesitated at the door, wondering what she would find on the other side. Wondering if she was prepared herself for this charade. She took in a deep breath and opened it, stepping back into her room.

“Oh—what are you—!”

She stared in shock at a blushing Hiccup, clad in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. He was attempting to cover himself with a pair of what looked like her father’s pajama pants. “You’re dad lent these to me,” he said, face as red as her own pants.

“Um,” she said, unable to keep the grin off her face, and the girlish laugh from her voice as her eyes slipped from his face to his chest, then lower.

“Do you mind?” Hiccup demanded.

“Oh,” she said, forcing her eyes back to his horrified face. “Yeah—of course, no problem…” she turned and entered the bathroom, closing the door and leaning against it.

That was the first time she had seen an almost naked man in a long time—TV shows and movies notwithstanding.

“Are you decent?” she called through the door, to which there was a pause, then a “Yeah.”

She opened the door and stepped through, looking at Hiccup. He was, to her surprised disappointment, wearing an undershirt, and coupled with the pajama pants, the pleasant surprise was gone. “Sorry about that,” she apologized, “I just… it’s been awhile.”

He opened his mouth, paused, and said, “Nothing is going to happen right? I mean, I’m already uncomfortable with this whole thing—you’re not _expecting_ anything, right?”

“No, of course not,” she said, “No, not at all. And I’m totally sorry about this—we’ll come up with a reason for you to have to go tomorrow. There is no reason you have to put up with this any longer. Thanks, by the way, for dealing with this. It’s…”she shook her head. “I just have spent way too much time inventing you to throw it all away—plus my family would _never_ let me forget about it.”

“I’m a real person, you know,” he said.

“What?” she asked, looking at him in surprise.

“I’m not a figment of your imagination,” he said. “You keep saying things like ‘inventing me’ or ‘I’m not real’. I’m a real person.”

“I know,” she said, “But you’re not my boyfriend. Jason is.”

He stared at her, before venturing, “Are you alright in the head?”

“What? Yeah,” she said. “No, I’m fine, I’m just…”

“Well, I’m _Hiccup_ , not Jason,” he said. “So, while we’re alone I’d rather you call me by my _real_ name.”

“Okay, _Hiccup,”_ she said. “How do you want to do it?”

“Do what?” he asked, frowning.

“Sleep? Do you want the bed?”

“I’ll take the floor,” he said. “I just need a blanket.”

“I have two comforters, you can take the top one,” she offered.

He nodded and took it, taking it to the far corner of the room and folding it over like a sleeping bag.

“I’m not expecting anything to happen,” she told him as she got into bed. “In fact, I don’t _want_ anything to happen. So don’t get any ideas,” she said suddenly, realizing that she was alone in a room with a strange man—a man who had, for some unexplainable reason, agreed to pretend to be her boyfriend.

“Same goes for you,” he retorted.

“Good,” she returned.

“Good,” he muttered.

“I’m turning the lights out,” she informed him, to which there was no reply, though she knew he was still awake.

She knew this was stupid—she should have fessed up to Alicia when they spotted Hiccup in the pet store. Alicia could have been persuaded to keep her mouth shut. This all could have been avoided. Instead she’s roped some random guy (perhaps not random, but a _stranger_ nonetheless) into pretending to be her boyfriend—fiancé—and now they were sleeping in the same room together. Sure, she had slept in the same room as strange men before, but those had always been after romantic trysts. This was… this was different.

She rolled over so she could look at him. He was perfectly still, Toothless rolled up beside him. She wondered if he had fallen asleep already. She rolled away so she was looking away from him, and sighed, closing her eyes.

She could not wait until the night was over and he went on his way—and she could go back to having a _pretend_ , non-existing boyfriend.

Thinking these thoughts, she finally managed to drift asleep, waking hours later, throat dry and in need of water. She reached for a glass on her bedside table, but found it to be empty. Cursing silently, she got up, not wanting to turn on the light and risk waking Hiccup up, and shuffled in the dark towards the bathroom door. Her foot hit something—cool and smooth. She looked down, and saw, in the moonlight drifting in through the curtains, what looked like a dismembered foot.


	4. Chapter 4

She didn’t know she was capable of the strangled cry that escaped deep within her throat. She stumbled backwards, as Toothless began barking loudly—which incited the barks of Stormfly downstairs.

She heard Hiccup swear, and she hurriedly turned on the light beside her bed.

“Are you alright?” Hiccup asked, blinking in the sudden light, standing awkwardly on—

She gasped, staring first at the place where his left foot should have been, and then at the foot on the ground. Now that she looked at it in the light, it was not a dismembered foot—but a prosthetic of some kind. “You…”

“I…” he followed her gaze, and said, “Oh, that’s just my foot.”

“What?” she looked back at him.

There was a loud knock at the door. “Astrid, Jason, are you two alright?” she heard her father ask from the hallway.

“Yeah, we’re alright dad,” she called back. “I saw something outside the window and it startled me—but it wasn’t a foot.” _Not a real one anyway._

Her father mumbled something before walking away.

“Are you alright?” Hiccup asked.

“I think so,” she breathed. “I really thought that was a real foot at first.”

“Oh,” there was laughter in Hiccup’s voice.

“Don’t you think you could have warned me about that?” she demanded.

“I wake up early—I honestly thought you wouldn’t even notice,” he shrugged, awkwardly sitting down.

She sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Gave me a heart attack.”

She realized he was laughing, and looked up to glare at him. “I’m not going to be able to sleep now. I’m going to be dreaming of dismembered bodies for the rest of my life.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, although he did not sound nor look apologetic.

She looked at the ancient alarm clock on the bedside table, and said, “It’s four in the morning… might as well not go back to sleep. I’m going downstairs to watch TV. You can… come if you want.”

She got up from the bed and walked to the door, opening it and was immediately greeted by a whining Stormfly. “Hey girl,” she said, patting the dog’s head, “Let’s go downstairs.” She closed the door behind her.

She heard the TV turn on while she was in the kitchen making pop-corn. When she arrived in the living room, she found Hiccup sitting on the couch, Toothless sitting at his feet.

“Sorry about waking you up,” she told him, sitting down on the other side of the couch.

“Not a problem,” he mumbled, eyes fixed on the TV.

“What do you want to watch?” she asked. “Popcorn?” she offered him the bowl.

“Thanks,” he said, taking a small handful. He frowned down at his hand. “Why is it… kind of soggy?”

“Oh, I mixed some cottage cheese in,” she told him.

“What?” he looked at her, and even in the dark she could see a shocked look on his face.

“It’s… just how I like it,” she shrugged.

“Huh, so that’s what your dad meant.”

She nudged him in the knee with her foot, then said, “Sorry—that was your bad leg, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t have a bad leg,” he said, but he was grinning. He put a piece of popcorn in his mouth, and chewed thoughtfully. She watched expectantly, until he said, completely serious, “It’s not bad.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You hate it,” she said finally.

“It’s… it’s not _a normal_ kind of taste. I’m tasting something fishy too. And… cinnamon?”

“I put some fish sauce in for flavor,” she said. “The cinnamon is ‘cause it’s Snoggletog.” She could tell he was having difficulty not making a face. “You don’t have to finish it,” she told him.

“Thanks,” he said. He looked down at his hand, before getting up and walking to the kitchen. She heard the sink run, most likely him washing his hands, before he returned. She was surprised, and pleased, to realize he sat closer to her than he had been before. “What do you want to watch?” he asked her.

“Um… you know—there are some pretty good soap operas on this time at night,” she told him, taking the remote off the coffee table and flipping through the channels.

“You like soap operas?” he asked, laughing.

“Well, I’m not a _fan_ , but they’re fun to watch,” she said. “It can be hard not to get sucked into them.”

“Exemplary writing?” he offered jokingly, “Award winning acting? Or is the top notch special effects?”

She glared at him, but grinned anyway. “They’re fun to make fun of,” she admitted. “Plus I… I do kind of enjoy some of them. I got that from my parents—they’re big fans of this kind of—ooh, this one is really, really bad. You’ll hate it.”

They settled back into the couch.

“You’re wrong,” Hiccup said after a few minutes.

“About what?” she asked.

“About me hating this,” he said.

“Really?” she asked, looking at him. Somehow she couldn’t tell if he meant the show or sitting here with her.

“Yeah,” he turned to look at her, completely serious, “I _really_ hate it.”

She snickered, and said, “Want to mute it and dub the voices?”

“You do that?” he asked.

“Yeah, my brother and sister and I used to do it as kids—it’s fun—and the only way I can stand to watch them for long periods of time—and a lot harder than it looks.”

“Alright,” he said.

She muted the sound, and said, “I’ll take the girls’— _no_ ,” she interrupted herself, sending him a sly look, “ _I’ll_ take the guys’ roles, _you_ take the girls’.”

Hiccup sent her an amused look.

“ _’I didn’t want you to know I had a penis enlargement,’”_ Astrid began in a deep voice.

Hiccup snorted, before quickly saying, as the female star began speaking, _“’I already knew—it was pretty obvious.’”_

Astrid snickered again, before beginning anew. They got through a few more lines, until their laughter made it difficult to speak. “You’re going to wake everyone up,” she half hissed, half laughed, nudging him with her toe again.

“ _Me?”_ he countered, “You’re the one giggling away like a mad person.”

She rolled her eyes, before grinning at him, saying, “You’re a really bad actor, you know that?”

“Oh, _I_ am? You should listen to _yourself,”_ he returned.

“Oh!” she narrowed her eyes at him, forcing herself to carry a serious expression.

He was still laughing, gazing at her, before he stilled and said, “Is something the matter?”

“What’s this,” she reached forward, brushing a finger against a scar on his chin.

He blinked, but made no move to remove her hand. Finally she leaned back to her spot. “I got it when I was a baby,” he said.

“It’s not in your photos—your modeling photos,” she said.

“Make-up,” he shrugged. “I guess they thought chin scars wouldn’t sell frames.”

“What made you do modeling?” she asked him.

“I owed a friend a favor,” he said, shrugging again. “That was the only time I ever did it.”

“Really?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “So what do you do?”

“I’m an engineer,” he said.

“No, really,” she asked, “What do you do?”

“I’m _really_ an engineer,” he said, looking over at her. “Why do you think I had a heart attack at dinner when your dad said that?”

“Wait, you’re _really_ an engineer?” she asked, leaning forward and staring at him. What were the chances that she came up with a profession he _actually already had?_

“Yup,” he said, looking back at the TV, before looking at her again. “What do you do?”

“I work in the PR department of the Barbaric Archipelago Department of Education,” she said. “I started here in Berk, but they transferred me to their Bog office. Keep applying to be transferred back here, but…”

“You like Berk?” he asked.

“ _Love_ it,” she said, thumping her chest, “Proud Berkian.”

He smiled at her.

“What about you?” she asked, “You grow up here?”

“Yeah, my dad owns— _owned_ a company. I work in the technologies department,” Hiccup said, a shadow passing over his face. It was gone as soon as it came, and Astrid frowned, wondering what it was about. He clearly did not want to talk further about it, and she had to fight herself to keep from asking.

“Thanks, again,” she said, after a moment of silence, “For playing along.”

“It’s fine,” he said. “It saved me from going to a holiday party at work, so… it’s all good.”

She settled into her arm of the couch, watching the TV. She suddenly felt warm—and not the comfortable kind of warm, which ruled out happy, flirty feelings from her interactions with Hiccup. She suddenly got a flashback from yesterday night—getting sick on the plane after eating something that did not agree with her. “I think…” she said, reaching for the half empty bowl of popcorn. “I think I’m gonna be—” She grabbed it quickly, emptying what was left of last night’s dinner into it.

Hiccup swore and quickly slid next to her, pulling her loose hair away from her face.

She tried to apologize—for making a scene—and a mess—in front of him, but she couldn’t quite find a moment to do so. Afterwards, she sat, breathing heavily, before she heard her mother call from upstairs, “Is everything alright down there?”

“I—I’m fine, Mom!” Astrid called up shakily. “Hicc—Jason’s here.”

“Well, come get me if you need me,” her mother called down.

She heard her mother go back to her parent’s bedroom, and she stood up shakily. “I ate something funny yesterday,” she told Hiccup. “I’ll be right back.”

She went to the kitchen to dispose of the cottage cheese, fish sauce, cinnamon, and vomit soaked popcorn, wash the bowl, and rinse her mouth. She returned to the couch, where Hiccup was waiting for her, looking, oddly enough, rather worried.

“Sorry about that,” she mumbled, sitting down. “I don’t make a habit of throw up in front of strangers.”

“Hey, we’re not strangers,” he said, shrugging. “Besides—I don’t mind.”

“Yeah you do,” she said. “You just saw some girl you don’t know throw up—from like, six inches away.”

“Well,” he assented. “As long as you’re feeling better now, I don’t really care.”

She smiled at him, and said, “Don’t get too close. I have vomit breath.”

“You got it,” he said.

She realized that they were sitting rather closely now. Her body was starting to cool off, and she became aware he had his arm on the back of the couch. If she leaned her head back, it would lay on it. She kept her head forward.

“Um, I’m going to go brush my teeth and then try to sleep off this nausea,” she said, getting up.

“I think I’m going to… head out,” he said, standing up as well. “Get my luggage from the airport.”

“Right,” she said, nodding. “Those damn airport employees.”

They paused for a moment, before she followed him upstairs, where she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth while he got dressed. When she got out of the bathroom, she found Hiccup waiting for her. She held out her hand, and he looked at it in surprise. “It was nice to meet you, Hiccup,” she said, “Thanks for playing along. You saved my butt.”

He blinked, smiled, and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you too, Astrid,” he said.

“Can you let yourself out?” she asked him.

“Yeah,” he said, “I’ll uh… I’ll see you around maybe.”

He left her room, closing the door quietly behind him. She stared at the large, white painted wood, knowing that she would probably never see this handsome, charming stranger again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But SHALL they see each other again? Well, the story isn’t over yet, so let’s hope so ;)
> 
> If I titled my chapters, this chapter would be titled: “And so they bonded.” Or something to that effect :)


	5. Chapter 5

When Astrid opened her eyes a few hours later, the first thought on her mind was she did not know what Hiccup’s last name was—or his number.

_Why hadn’t he given her his number?_ She thought to herself, sitting up. Her nausea was gone, thankfully. She groaned and dropped her head to her knees. _She had thrown up in front of a good looking, very nice guy._ Fate was not on her side it seemed. Him pulling her hair away from her face was the most action she had gotten in some time. And she was sure, after all this, she would never see him again.

Why would she? He was most likely traumatized from the whole experience. Although she supposed she was lucky that he was such a standup guy. Sleeping in the same room as him and nothing happening… The most inappropriate thing that happened was her walking in on him while he was changing.

She snorted, closing her eyes again, recalling the memory. She had found him attractive before—obviously, she thought, she chose his pictures after all. But… somehow she found herself wishing he hadn’t left this morning—and instead could have stayed a little longer. She felt a rare kind of connection with him, and felt remiss that she was having to let go of it so quickly.

It’s strange, she thought to herself, how she spent five years pretending his image was her boyfriend, and yet less than twenty-four hours of being with him—the _real_ him—made her realize that pretending wasn’t good enough.

She sat up straighter, opening her eyes, and frowning.

Did she really want a relationship that badly? Sure, she hated the blind dates and endless matchmaking her family made her put up with… that was a main reason she _came up_ with a fake boyfriend in the first place. But it was also… all the guys her parents set her up with were… at _best…_ mediocre. And boring. She scratched Stormfly’s back, thinking.

But Hiccup…. She felt at ease around him, despite being total strangers.

Perhaps she was just projecting her five year long fake relationship with him onto the real him.

Well, she decided, getting up and putting a sweater on, leaving her room, Stormfly in tow, _there was no use crying over spilt milk_. She walked down the steps slowly, hearing people in the kitchen.

“Mom, Dad?” she asked, standing in the doorway.

Her mother looked at her, smiling. “Happy Snoggletog Eve! I’m just making the toast,” she told her. “You dad seems to think that’s the only thing I can be trusted with.”

“Because it is,” Alicia laughed.

Their mother walked over to Astrid, grasping her arms and looking at her worriedly, “Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine, why?” Astrid asked.

“Mom says you got sick this morning,” Alicia said, leaning against the counter.

“I’m fine,” Astrid said, “Just a touch of food poisoning.”

“Really?” both her mother and Alicia seemed doubtful.

“Are Aaron and Carol here yet?” Astrid asked, changing the subject.

“No, but they’re always late,” Alicia said, sighing. “Eric and Jacob aren’t here yet either, he’s having a hard time waking up.”

“Which one?” Astrid asked as their mother returned to the stove, checking on the toast.

“Both,” Alicia said, walking over to her. “Are you sure you’ve got nothing to tell us?” she said quietly.

“Like what?” Astrid asked, looking at her, perplexed. Suddenly she remembered what she was supposed to tell them, and said, “Oh, by the way, something came up and Jason had to—”

“Go pick up his luggage from the airport, we know,” Alicia said, walking over and resuming making the juice.

“He’s out with your father in his shed,” their mother said, taking out the pan of toast from the oven. “Oh… they’re _burnt_ …”

“What?” Astrid stared at her, “What are you talking about?”

“Jason,” Alicia said, looking over at her, “He’s out back—Dad wanted to show him his latest invention.”

Astrid stared at each woman, before quickly walking over to the backdoor, realized she was barefoot, and decided she didn’t care.

“Hey!” she heard Alicia call out after her, “Your shoes!”

Astrid quickly hopped down the path to the back shed, avoiding snow piles as she did. Her feet stung from the cold, flat stones, and the ice and snow. She could feel the welcoming heat of her father’s shed, and opened the door, stepping in, looking about, to see her father and Hiccup standing in front of one of the work tables, looking at her in shock.

“Astrid,” her father said, “Where are your shoes?”

“I…forgot them,” she said dumbly. Hiccup raised his eyebrows, and she said, “I thought you were going—”

“To pick up my luggage,” he interjected. “That was a few hours ago—it doesn’t take that long to get to the airport and back.”

“You…” she trailed off, eyeing her father.

“Aren’t you cold?” Hiccup asked, glancing down at her, and she realized she was wearing just a tank top and pajama bottoms, no coat or shoes.

“Yeah,” she muttered, suddenly feeling the cold.

“Here,” Hiccup shrugged off his coat, offering it to her.

“Oh, no,” she protested, “I’m not _that_ cold.”

“I’m your fiancé,” he said, putting it around her shoulders, “I’m not much good if I can’t keep you from getting cold.”

She smiled at him, before looking at her dad, who was looking at them with an obnoxious grin on his face. She cleared her throat, stepping away from Hiccup, and said, “What are you two working on?”

“Well,” her dad said, “I was just showing Jason some things I’ve been working on—you never mentioned he had a prosthesis, Astrid—you know how interested I am in those.”

“I… must have forgotten,” she said, shrugging.

“Your dad is really talented,” Hiccup said.

“Oh, please,” her dad flushed.

Astrid couldn’t help herself from grinning at her dad. She did not know why it pleased her so much that her dad and Hiccup seemed to have bonded. It wasn’t like it necessarily mattered. Astrid shivered slightly, despite Hiccup’s coat that was still warm from when he wore it moments before. “You’re still cold,” Hiccup said, “Let’s go back to the house.”

“I actually want to warm up before I risk going outside again,” she said.

“I’ll just carry you,” he replied.

“What? No! You—you’re so skinny—and your leg, I don’t think you’ll be able to,” she stared at him as if he had gone crazy.

“And you don’t look that heavy,” Hiccup answered, “May I?”

“Hell no,” she replied hotly.

“Astrid, come on,” her dad chuckled, “Let him carry you to the house.”

“Fine,” she said, “But if you drop me try to have it be over a snow pile? And not a stone or rock?”

“I’ll make an exception, just this time,” he said, lifting her up with a slight grunt. She put an arm around his neck and grabbed his shirt with the other hand, tensing as she expected to be dropped. It seemed he had a decent hold on her, for soon her dad was opening the door for them and they were stepping out onto the stone path.

“You’re going to drop me,” she said irritably as he walked down the path towards the back door.

“Have some faith in your fiancé,” he laughed.

“You’re not…” she cursed under her breath, and hissed, quietly, “You’re not my fiancé.”

He shrugged and gave her a small grin, and soon they reached the kitchen door. Her mom opened it, looking at them in surprise. “Well,” her mom said, stepping aside to let them in. “Aren’t you a prince charming.”

Hiccup set Astrid gently down on the ground.

“Can we go upstairs?” she asked him.

“Sure,” he said, sending Alicia and her mom a quick smile before following her out of the kitchen.

When they reached her bedroom, she turned on him. “Why did you come back?”

He was serious now, and for a moment, she felt a bit of fear, wondering what would possess him to return to this maddening show. “I…promised your dad I would take a look at his inventions. Couldn’t back out of that without looking like an ass—and I know you want to protect your cover, so…”

“Right,” she said, “So you’re leaving now?”

“I will if you want me to,” he said. When she said nothing, he continued, slowly, “To be honest… I don’t really have family to spend with this year—not a big one anyway. In fact… it’s been a difficult couple months for me. Being here, surrounded by happy people, whose only concern is having the best time for the holidays—it… it feels really nice.” He paused, and said, “I’ll go if you want, but if you want to continue protecting your…cover, I’ll stay. If you come to visit my family with me.”

“Do you have a pretend girlfriend who looks like me?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No,” he snorted. “Trust me, no one would believe that. I just… thought I’d offer.”

She paused, and said, “Alright. Just because it’s the holidays and you’ve already shown up and I need to protect my… cover.”

He smiled at her.

“But no physical content,” she warned him.

“What?”

“Don’t think just because we’re pretending to be engaged means that anything is going to happen. PG touching at most.”

He put up his hands in defeat, “You got it, milady.”

“Milady?” she asked, taken aback.

“Because your mom called me—never mind,” he shook his head, chuckling. He suddenly cocked his head, and said, “I think the rest of your family is here.”

“Good, that means breakfast is starting,” she said, heading for the door.

He put up a hand to stop her, and said, once he gained her attention, “Hey, are you alright?”

“What?”

“You just… I didn’t know if you still felt sick,” he said, looking, much to her surprise, genuinely concerned.

“I’m fine,” she said, “It was just food poisoning. Something I ate on the plane.” She heard their names called from downstairs. “We should go down,” she said.

They both reached for the door handle, and Astrid awkwardly grabbed it and opened it. “After you,” she said, motioning to the hallway. “You are a prince after all,” she said with a wink.

He raised his eyebrows, and gave her an amused smile before stepping out. She paused for a moment, biting her lip as she thought how odd and coincidental this whole holiday was turning out to be, and following him down the stairs.


	6. Chapter 6

“Hey, do you want to take the dogs for a walk?” she asked, as they finished putting the plates in the dish washer after breakfast.

“Sure,” he said, straightening.

“Where are you going?” her mom asked.

“For a walk,” Astrid told her. “We won’t be long.”

“Well, it’s Snoggletog _Eve_ , not Snoggletog _Day_ ,” her mom winked.

“Actually Karen,” Hiccup said, “I was wondering if Snoggletog Night Astrid and I could visit an old family friend.”

“Oh!” her mom said, blinking, “Of course. You can invite them here if you want—”

“No!” Hiccup and Astrid said in unison, before looking at each other sheepishly.  “No,” Hiccup said, “I promised I’d go there for dinner—I’d like Astrid to be there with me, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” Karen said, nodding. “We do most of our Snoggletog celebrating earlier in the day, anyway.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Astrid said. “That walk?” she asked, looking at Hiccup.

“Yeah,” Hiccup said, turning and following her to the living room, where they donned their shoes and coats, and called the dogs.

They walked in silence, and Astrid watched the mist forming around their mouths as they breathed. Finally, Hiccup said, “Your dad gave me the talk.”

“Birds and the bees, eh?” she asked, nudging him with her elbow. “Well, Hiccup, you needed to hear it eventually.”

He laughed, and said, “No. It was… uh… the kind of talk a father gives to any guy seriously pursuing his daughter. The ‘if you hurt her…’ speech.”

“Oh shit,” she said, staring up at him in horror. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” he said, “I survived—and hey, good practice for if I ever _actually_ get engaged.”

She nodded, grinning at him, before saying, “Again, I’m really sorry about all this. Not over the holidays—but eventually you and I are going to have to break up.”

“I didn’t realize you and I were actually dating,” he mused.

“Ha. Ha,” she said, giving him a light punch in the arm. “I _meant_ … everyone is thinking you and I are engaged… and… well, there’s not going to be a wedding so… either we break up or…” Or what? She thought. Was she really just about to say ‘actually get together?’ _Good save, Astrid,_ she thought to herself. _Way to dodge **that** bullet._

Hiccup cleared his throat, and said, “Your family is really nice.”

“Yeah, they are. Pains in the ass, but nice,” she said.

“Family isn’t family unless they are a pain in the ass,” was his reply.

“True that,” she agreed, and was just about to ask if he had a girlfriend—or significant other of some kind—for reasons she wasn’t ready to admit because _hell_ , they were strangers—when a voice called out her name. “Oh, hi Mrs. Ack,” she said, as the plump woman walked down the steps of her front door and down the path towards them.

“Astrid,” Mrs. Ack said, smiling at her, “What a pleasant surprise! And this is…” she turned to them, before grinning widely, “This must be Jason! Your mother called me last night and told me you finally brought him home! I’m so glad to have finally met you,” she offered her hand to Hiccup, who shook it.

Astrid mentally berated her mother and her big, gossiping mouth.

“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Ack,” Hiccup said, returning her smile.

“I heard,” Mrs. Ack said, “That you two are tying the knot! Congratulations… have you picked out a ring and a date yet?”

“Neither yet,” Astrid said. “We only got engaged a couple days ago.”

“Is that so?” Mrs. Ack beamed at them. “Well, I wish you two the best.”

“Thank you,” Astrid said, pulling Hiccup along the sidewalk again. After a few moments, they were out of earshot of the woman.

“Who was that?” Hiccup asked her.

“Mrs. Ack—a friend of my mom’s,” Astrid said. “I can’t believe my mom told her we’re engaged… now everyone is going to know.”

“She’s a gossip?” Hiccup asked, throwing an amused look over her shoulder.

“They both are,” Astrid said, sighing. “Well, everyone will know now. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I get to know how it feels to be engaged, without actually having to marry, so…”

“And how does it feel?” she asked him.

“Terrible,” he said, straight faced. “Absolute hell.”

“Hey!” she punched him again, inciting laughter from him. “I’m not a terrible fiancé.”

“Well, the past twenty-four hours has been a whirlwind, I’ll say that,” Hiccup said. “But…” he added, “It’s been fun.”

“I’m glad,” she said.

“No, really,” he said, stopping and looking at her seriously. “It’s really, really—I’ve been having a good time.”

She blinked up at him, and said, “Me too—surprisingly. When I saw you in that pet store I thought my life was over. But now… this is actually kind of fun. I haven’t had a boyfriend in ages.”

“Come on, your life wouldn’t be over,” he said, slinging an arm over her shoulder as they continued walking.

“You don’t know my family,” she said. “And how much they want me to settle down and start having kids.”

“Well,” Hiccup shrugged, dropping his arm away from her shoulders, “I’m glad we ran into each other.”

She took in a breath, wondering if she dared to reply to that statement… that she was glad they ran into each other too. That she was having thoughts about him that would make him run for cover—because they barely know each other—and their relationship, if one could even call it that, was based on deceit and rushed acting. “Cool,” she said, finally.

“I need to get presents for your family,” he said, after an awkward silence.

“Oh, well, you can go in with mine,” she offered.

“Alright,” he said, “As long as you don’t mind.”

“Nope,” she said, “That’s what couples who are getting married do, right? Go in together on gifts? As a single person I always feel cheated but somehow it feels kind of nice to be on the other side.”

“That’s true,” Hiccup said, “In that case I’ll pay you back for half.”

“Nope, not happening,” she said. “It’ll be part of my paying you for your services.”

“Services?” he asked, frowning at her.

“For playing along with all of this,” she said.

“Astrid, I don’t want any money,” he said.

“What?”

“I’m not an actor—I’m not interested in getting paid for this,” he said.

“Then why are you doing it?” she asked him, confounded.

He opened his mouth, and shut it, looking somewhat bashful and a little embarrassed. “It’s hard to say,” he mumbled finally.

“Well, thanks,” she said, “Rent is going to be tight next month so I’m actually really relieved.”

They stopped, and she said, “Want to go back?”

“Yeah,” he said, “I’m getting kind of cold.” They called for their dogs, who returned, and began walking back to the Hofferson household.

“You are really skinny,” she said, “I bet you get cold a lot.”

“I—I’m not _really_ skinny,” he protested.

“You’re a bean stalk,” she told him. “Scrawny.”

“I… you don’t know that,” he said.

“I saw you last night,” she reminded him.

He colored, and looked embarrassed. She wondered if it were from being seen nearly naked by her, or if it were the fact that now he could not deny he was, indeed, scrawny.

“But that’s okay,” she told him, linking arms with him, “Not to make things weird, but… I kind of liked it.”

“What? Really?” he asked, seeming genuinely surprised and pleased.

“Yup, obviously,” she laughed. “Why do you think I chose _your_ pictures?”

He looked at her, waiting for an answer.

“I was _swooned_ by your devilishly good looks,” she said in a mock tone.

“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not,” he said.

She let go of his arm, “I am absolutely not,” she said. “I’m serious. I find you… attractive.”

She had almost said ‘very’, but caught herself. No need to make the situation worse and make him even _more_ uncomfortable. They walked in silence, before, “Thanks, for playing along,” she said.

He rolled his eyes, “You’ve got to stop thanking me,” he replied, “It’s getting pretty annoying. To be honest, this is kind of great. I get to see what it’s like to date someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugged, before saying, “You’re the whole package, you know? You’re smart—making up a fake boyfriend notwithstanding—and fun, and cool, and you just seem like a really great person. Plus _you_ are really attractive,” he added. “I mean, I could never get a girl like you in real life—for all those reasons.”

She stared at him for a moment, before looking away, unable to decide how she felt about that. _This wasn’t good,_ she told herself. _If he kept his up, she would find herself falling for her fake boyfriend. A fake boyfriend who she was never going to see again after all this was over._

“If you don’t mind me asking,” she said, saying the first thing that came to her mind, “How’d you lose your foot?’

He glanced at her, before looking forward and saying, softly, “There was an accident. A car accident.”

She stared at him, “That’s how you lost your foot?” she asked quietly.

“No, well, yes… My foot was stuck, and the car was on fire—Toothless, he dragged me out. But he had to…” Hiccup paused, glancing at her worriedly, “Unhook me—and that meant getting rid of anything that was keeping me stuck.”

“You mean he…” Astrid’s eyes widened.

“ _But,_ I’m alive,” Hiccup said, shrugging. “I had some major broken bones, and a collapsed lung—and some missing teeth, and a missing foot, but I lived.” He reached down and rubbed Toothless’ head. “I owe my life to him.”

She smiled, looking down at the dog in a new light. She looked back at Hiccup, and said, “I’m glad you’re alive—and not just because that’s the proper thing to say, but… I’m glad I was able to meet you.”

He smiled at her, and she continued, “ _And_ I’m glad for good dentistry.”

He laughed, and said, “Yeah, me too.”

“Where do you work?” she asked, breaking the small silence that followed.

“Haddock Inc.,” he told her.

“Really?” she asked, surprised. “No wonder you can afford such a nice car—with a job like that.”

He shrugged again.

“What’s your last name?” she asked him.

“ _Now_ you want to know my last name?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I just want to get to know you,” she said, smiling, “I mean, we’re going to be stuck with each other for a very long time—at least twenty-four hours, so we should make _some_ effort.”

“Haddock,” he said.

“You already told me where you work,” she replied.

“No, my name is Hiccup Haddock,” he said.

She stared at him. “As in, the family that _owns_ Haddock Inc.?”

“Yeah.”

Her eyes widened. She opened her mouth, before clamping it shut. She wondered why he never said anything. Probably he did not want to make things awkward by revealing he was part of the family that owned one of the biggest businesses in the Barbaric Archipelago, perhaps even in the world.

They reached her house. “Ready to go back into the fray?” she asked him.

He grinned at her—that half smile that she was growing so fond of, and together the four of them walked into the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wellllll, things are starting to get started ;)
> 
> At least, it seems like certain people are doing less pretending… ;))))


	7. Chapter 7

“Sorry about my family,” Astrid said, smiling up at Hiccup.

“Don’t apologize,” he said, shaking his head and laughing quietly. “I’m honored they’ve accepted me so fast.”

“It _is_ strange—considering they didn’t pick you out,” Astrid agreed, earning another laugh from him. She looked over to see Alicia staring at them. Astrid frowned, and watched Alicia look at Astrid’s wine glass, and back up to her. Astrid narrowed her eyes, before returning her gaze to Hiccup.

“Ooh,” Astrid’s brother, Aaron, called out in a sing-song voice, “Look who’s standing under the mistletoe.”

“What?” Astrid looked up quickly, to see that Hiccup and she were indeed standing underneath mistletoe. _When did that get there?_ She thought irritably to herself, before remembering that her family had put a bunch there every year that she could remember, first for her parents, and then for whomever their children brought home. _The real question,_ she supposed, _is why she forgot._

“Kiss, kiss,” Aaron and Carol were chanting.

“Come _on_ ,” Alicia said, “What are you two waiting for?”

Astrid realized her entire family was watching them. She looked at Hiccup, his own cheeks were flushed as well, and he looked embarrassed and… not _altogether_ opposed to the idea. She shrugged, giving him a suggestive smile, which he returned.

She leaned up on her toes, as he leaned down, hesitating for a moment, before finally, gently, pressing their lips together. They stayed that way for a few seconds, before separating.

“Boo,” Alicia said, giving them a thumbs down. “You kiss like virgins.”

Astrid glared at her, before looking back at Hiccup. He was gazing down at her with as soft expression, and she smiled up at him. She had to fight the urge to grab him and show him and everyone else that she _did not_ kiss like a virgin. But she held back, and instead, walked away from Hiccup to refill her wine.

“Should you be drinking that?” Alicia asked, appearing at her side.

“What?” Astrid asked, taking a sip of wine and looking at her sister in confusion.

“I wasn’t going to say anything—I mean, one glass is okay, but two? Come on, Astrid.”

“What are you talking about?” Astrid asked.

“I _know_ , Astrid. We both do, Mom and I,” Alicia said.

“Know what?” Astrid asked, taking another sip.

“That you’re pregnant,” Alicia said.

Astrid choked.

“Are you alright?” Hiccup called over to her, sounding worried.

She put up a hand to ward him off, and stared at her sister once she had regained control of her esophagus. “ _What?”_ she demanded.

“What? Is it supposed to be a secret? Is that why you didn’t tell anyone? Because you’re doing a pretty bad job at that,” Alicia told her.

“What are you talking about?” Hiccup asked, walking up to them.

“I know Astrid is pregnant,” Alicia told him.

Hiccup’s eyes widened slightly, and he looked at Astrid sharply. “ _What?”_ he asked, barely above a whisper.

“I’m not—I’m _not_ pregnant,” Astrid told Alicia.

Alicia’s eyebrows rose in disbelief.

“I swear—I’m not—”

“What’s going on?” their mother entered the dining room. “Astrid? Alicia? Are you two arguing again?”

“Astrid is trying to deny that she’s knocked up,” Alicia said. “Come on, Astrid, you don’t have to by shy. I mean—it explains why you’ve been sick—why you’re suddenly getting married…”

“That has nothing—I had _food_ poisoning,” Astrid said. “Trust me, I was _not_ … I _am not_ pregnant. I swear.”

“Astrid, honey, you don’t have to—” their mother began.

“Mom, I swear—I’m not pregnant!” Astrid said urgently.

It would almost be funny, if the circumstances were different. How could she convince her family of the fact without revealing that it would literally be _impossible_ for her to be pregnant? The last time she slept with someone was… too long ago for pregnancy to be possible, at least before it would show. There was no way she could explain that without revealing that she and Hiccup were… well, not actually involved sexually, which her family would never believe. “Jason, tell them.”

“We’re… not having a baby,” he told them, tearing his eyes away from her.

“Are you sure?” her mother asked.

“ _Yes,”_ Astrid said. She turned to look at Alicia, who was watching her closely. “I swear.”

Alicia narrowed her eyes, before shrugging, saying “If you say so. I believe you.”

“I think,” their mother said, “I think it’s time we all headed to bed. Alicia? Aaron? I’ll see all of you kids in the morning.”

“That’s a good idea,” Astrid said, “Jason? Let’s go upstairs.”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the stairs. When they entered her bedroom, she closed the door, closed her eyes, and leaned against it. “I am… _so_ sorry about that,” she said.

“Are you pregnant?” he asked her.

She opened her eyes and gave him an amused look. “No. Not even possible. It’s been forever since I last—anyway, I couldn’t tell _them_ that without… you know… revealing certain things about our relationship.”

“Ah,” he nodded, and if she wasn’t mistaken, he seemed relieved.

“Sorry also, for my family being a butthead and making me kiss you,” she said apologetically. “If I had known they would have insisted, I… I don’t know what I would have done.”

“No,” he said, “It was… well, as far as kisses go, it wasn’t half bad.”

“What?” she asked, raising an aghast eyebrow mockingly. “That won’t do. I am amazing kisser. The correct answer is ‘it took my breath away.’”

“You know, I wish I could say that but… It didn’t _quite,”_ he said. “I think you’ll have to try again if you want that kind of reaction.”

She looked at him long and hard, wondering what game he was playing. She decided she didn’t care, and walked over to him, placing her hands on either side of his neck, bringing his head close her hers. She could feel his breath on her mouth, hitching slightly, before he gently put his arms on her waist, bringing her forward, and pressing his lips against hers. He drew her flush against him, holding her tight. Finally, they broke apart, and she gazed up at him, feeling comfortable in his arms. “Sorry about that,” she whispered.

“Don’t be,” he replied, just as quietly.

“We should probably… call it a night,” she said. _Before anything got too serious._

He let out a breath, blinking and nodded, letting go of her and taking a step back. “Sorry,” he said.

“No, it was great, I just don’t think it’s a smart idea to… you know…” she shrugged.

“Right, no, you’re right,” he agreed. “I’ll just get changed.”

He got his pajamas out of his traveling bag and went to the bathroom to change, and Astrid quickly got changed in her own sleeping clothes. He emerged from the bathroom, and she quickly went in to brush her teeth. When she got out, he was sitting down on the comforter in the corner, working at his prosthetic.

“You know—the floor is kind of uncomfortable. If you want to… sleep in my bed, that’s fine,” she offered.

He looked up, eyebrows raised, “You expect me to let _you_ sleep on the floor?”

She shook her head. “I’d be sleeping in the bed too.”

His eyebrows rose higher.

“Nothing will happen, of course—but… it means we’ll both be well rested for tomorrow,” she said quickly. “Only if you want to, of course.”

“Okay,” he said, getting up and walking to the bed, he sat down and removed his prosthetic, sliding under the covers as she did. “Now what?” he asked her.

“We go to sleep,” she said, turning off the light and lying down. She closed her eyes, though it was a long time before she fell asleep—distracted by Hiccup’s soft breathing and the warmth emanating from his body.

* * *

 

She rubbed her cheek against a soft texture, not her sheets or pillow cases—but soft like a cotton shirt. Long arms were wrapped around her, and she was _warm._ Almost uncomfortably so—but she didn’t care. She let out a soft noise of content, and opened her eyes. Her head was tucked under someone’s chin, and she was snuggled up against… For a moment, she did nothing—like one did with an animal that has graced one’s lap with its presence, she was hesitant of doing anything that would end this moment.

Somehow, in the course of the night, Hiccup had gathered her into his arms. By accident? On purpose? She wanted to wake him up and ask him, but was worried what his reaction would be. It seemed she did not have to wait long, for his eyes fluttered open, and she pulled herself away from him enough to look at his face. He was smiling sleepily at her. “I think we both deserve a few explanations,” he said, amused.

She snorted, untangling herself from him, and sat up, yawning. “Sorry,” she said.

“It takes two to cuddle,” he said, shrugging and sitting up as well.

“Happy Snoggletog,” she told him.

He frowned, that same shadow she recognized from the first night passing over his face. He nodded, and said, “Happy Snoggletog.”

“We should go and open stockings,” she said. “My Mom is a stickler for schedules.”

She slid out of bed and opened the door, “You coming?”

He nodded, getting out of bed as well and following her downstairs.

**HHH**

“So this is a family friend?” she asked, looking around. They were in a nice part of town—the richer side, she noted.

“Yeah,” he said, “My dad’s best friend. He’s staying at my dad’s old place—looking after it because I’m…well, I don’t want to deal with that.”

“Oh,” Astrid said. “You keep talking about your dad funny—is he…”

“He passed away,” Hiccup said, eyes focused dead ahead on the road. “A few months ago.”

Her lips parted slightly, and she blinked slowly.

His dad… passed away not long ago. No wonder he didn’t want to go to the work party—with everyone there knowing Mr. Haddock. _No wonder_ he agreed so readily to spend the holidays with her. She realized how lonely he must be feeling. “I’m so sorry,” she said quietly.

He shrugged. She could tell he was _trying_ to shrug it off—but the tightness in his face and shoulders told her that his father’s passing was still difficult, as would be expected, to deal with.

“Here we go,” Hiccup said, pulling into the driveway. He and Astrid stepped out of the car, Toothless and Stormfly hopping out after them. They walked up to the door, and Hiccup opened it, calling out, “We’re here!”

“WE?” a loud voice demanded.

Astrid stepped into the lavish entryway, and saw a large man, with what appeared to be an egg beater for a hand, and antler ears on his head, standing before them. “Who is this, Hiccup?” the man asked, staring at Astrid.

“A friend,” Hiccup said, “Astrid. And her dog Stormfly. Hope it’s okay I brought them.”

“Of course, Hiccup,” the man said with a wink. “I’m Gobber. Gobber Belch,” he told Astrid with a large smile.

“W…why do you have an egg beater on…” Astrid pointed to his strange prosthetic.

“Ah—egg nog,” he said, “It’s my own invention. The beater, not the ‘nog. Although it’s my own recipe,” he said with another wink. “Come in, come in, have a drink, or three—dinner will be in a few minutes.”

He left the room, and Hiccup helped Astrid take off her coat.

“I didn’t realize this place was so nice,” she said, following him to the dining room, “I would have worn a nicer outfit.”

“You look fine,” he assured her.

They walked to the dining room, where a grand display of food awaited them.

* * *

 

“So, Astrid, how did you and Hiccup meet?” Gobber asked, once they had seated and began their meal.

She looked up, and said, “We met…” she looked at Hiccup, waiting for his answer.

“We met two days ago,” Hiccup said. “I’m actually pretending to be her boyfriend.”

Gobber raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“I kind of fooled my family into thinking I was dating this random guy for five years,” Astrid said. “I used these pictures I found—you know, those pictures that come in picture frames? Anyway—guess who the model was?”

“Hiccup?” Gobber asked, raising his eyebrows.

Astrid nodded.

“I was at the pet store—the one that sells specialty foods,” Hiccup said, “And this random pregnant woman comes up to me, starts calling me Jason—and I’m standing there, confused as hell, when _Astrid_ comes running up to me, acting like I’m her long lost boyfriend—”

“I couldn’t let him tell my sister he didn’t know me,” Astrid told Gobber. “My family would never forgive me—they would _never_ let me live it down. So I convinced him to pretend to be my boyfriend for the holidays.”

“Fiancé,” Hiccup corrected.

“Oh, right, how could I forget?” she asked. “Oh that’s right—you haven’t bought a ring yet,” she said with a wink.

Hiccup snorted, and Gobber chuckled. “Everything was smooth sailing after that?” Gobber asked.

“Not really,” Hiccup said. “There was barefoot mishaps, mistletoe, and, let’s not forget, the pregnancy scare.”

“Oh _god…”_ Astrid muttered, her head falling into her hands. “I still can’t believe my mom and sister thought I was pregnant.”

She looked up when she heard Hiccup laughing, and joined him.

“You two get along well for only knowing each other three days,” Gobber said.

“Well,” Astrid said, “We’ve had to get along well in order to convince my family that we’re madly in love.”

She watched Gobber’s eyes drift to Hiccup. She looked at Hiccup as well, to see him watching her with a strange expression on his face, before he coughed and looked away. She smiled and while Gobber launched into an explanation on how he and Hiccup’s father first met, she could not stop the fluttering feeling in her chest.

* * *

 

“Was this your dad?” she asked, looking up at the large painting. The man portrayed had a resemblance to Hiccup—with the exception of impressive flaming red hair and beard, as well as a much broader build. He wore a fashionable and expensive pin striped suit.

“Yeah,” Hiccup said.

“From what Gobber says, he seems like a great guy,” Astrid told him.

“He was,” Hiccup agreed. “He and I didn’t always see eye to eye—or get along all the time—but he was a great man—and a great dad. He wanted me to take over the business—but…”

“But?”

“I just wasn’t ready,” Hiccup shook his head. He looked at her with a forced smile. “I just… it was too much, you know? My dad, he _started_ Haddock Inc.… and made it what it is today. How could I possibly… live up to that?”

She laid a hand on his arm. “I think you’re underestimating yourself,” she told him. “When you’re ready—I’m sure you’ll be able to be everything your father wanted you to be.”

He looked at her, and in the dim lighting she saw something unreadable in his eyes. She gave a little gasp as he gathered her in his arms and kissed her, rougher than they had done last night. She let herself melt into him, putting her arms around his shoulders.

 _This was stupid,_ she told herself, giving up control to him. _This was beyond stupid. They didn’t know each other. After tonight—they wouldn’t see each other again._ She pushed him away gently. He looked at her, breathing heavily, confusion on his face.

“We should get back,” she said, “My parents’ll be worried if we’re gone too late.”

“We should say goodbye to Gobber,” Hiccup said, “And then we’ll go right back.”

“Okay,” she said, following him out the dark room. Once they said their goodbyes to Gobber, they left, driving in silence back to her parents’ house.

**HHH**

“What took you two so long?” her mother asked as they walked through the front door.

“There were like, eight courses,” Astrid said. “It was really good but I. Am. Stuffed. Like a roast pig.”

“Thanks for letting us sneak out,” Hiccup said.

“Oh, no problem,” her mother said, beaming at him.

“Where were you again?” Alicia asked.

“A family friend,” he said.

“Ah,” she said, giving them a weird look. Hiccup looked confused, glancing at Astrid, who just shrugged. “Astrid,” Alicia finally said, “Can I talk to you in private?”

“Sure,” Astrid said, walking over to the dining room after her sister.

When they were out of sight of the others, Alicia turned on her, whispering, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Visiting my fiancé’s family friend?” Astrid asked.

“We both know he’s not your fiancé,” Alicia said.

Astrid stared at her. “What?”

“Oh, come _on_ , Astrid,” Alicia said. “Don’t act stupid. Do you really think someone wouldn’t figure out that you _have_ no boyfriend?”

Astrid continued to stare at her. “How did you…”

“ _Please,”_ Alicia said, letting out a hard laugh, “The fact that we never _met_ the guy. The fact that you used those stupid crappy pictures that come in picture frames, but no original or candid photos? Or the fact that there were never any pictures of the both of you? Or the fact that he never showed up in any pictures on social media? Or maybe the fact that when I saw him in that pet store, he had _no_ idea who you were?”

Astrid could do nothing but gawk at her sister.

“I’m your _sister,_ Astrid,” Alicia said. “If you thought _I_ wouldn’t notice… you are _really_ stupid.”

“Why didn’t you… say anything?” Astrid asked.

Alicia shrugged. “I thought you were trying to sow your oats or something,” she said. “I mean, why else would you make up a fake boyfriend for five years? And hey, I respect that—but I think enough is enough. Especially when you’re dragging another human being into it. And I think _lying_ to your family has gone on _long_ enough.”

“What’s going on?” her mother appeared under the archway leading into the living room. “Are you two arguing again?”

“Astrid has something she wants to say to you,” Alicia said.

“Astrid?” their mother looked at her quizzically.

“I…” Astrid began. “It’s nothing mom, we’ll join you in a moment.”

“More lies,” Alicia said. “Fine, if, for the first time in your life, _you_ won’t own up to something, then _I’ll_ do it for you. Mom, Astrid and Jason, or _Hiccup_ , are not engaged. They’re not even dating. In fact, until two nights ago, they didn’t even know each other.”

Their mother stared at them.

“What’s going on?” Astrid heard her dad say, appearing beside their mother.

“How is that possible?” their mother said, “We’ve been seeing pictures of Jason for years.”

“They’re fake, Mom,” Alicia said, “They’re the crappy photos you get in picture frames. Astrid has been _pretending_ to have a boyfriend all these years.”

“Astrid…” her mother looked at her, shocked. “Is that true?” Her mother asked.

Astrid took in a deep breath, and nodded.

“You never lie,” her mother said, aghast. “You’re always so… so blunt and truthful. Why would you lie about something like this?”

“Because—” Astrid took in another deep breath. “Because I was sick of you guys meddling with my private life. I mean, you were _always_ setting me up with people—you’re always pressuring me to get married and have kids—and… I guess I just… this was the only way to get you off my back.”

There was silence, both in the dining and living rooms.

“Astrid,” her dad said, “You should have just said you didn’t want—”

“I did!” Astrid laughed, “You never listened! I’m sorry I made up a boyfriend. I’m sorry I ran into the guy randomly—and brought him here—and…” she sighed. “Look, it was all a mistake, but... I didn’t mean to hurt you guys. I just wanted to be my own person. Just for a little while.”

She began walking, pushing past her parents and entered the living room, where her brother and in-laws, and Hiccup were standing, silent. Hiccup was staring at her, a troubled look on his face. “I think you should go now,” she said.

“Astrid,” he began, taking a step forward.

“Look, the gig is up,” she said, “There’s no reason you have to be here anymore. So… to make things less awkward, I think it’s best if you leave. I have an early flight tomorrow anyway.”

He blinked, and slowly nodded, turning and walked up the stairs.

She wanted to go to her room, but knew it would be too awkward to be there alone with Hiccup. So she waited, in the tense silence of the downstairs, until Hiccup came down with his bag and Toothless. As he put on his coat and shoes, he turned and look at Astrid and said, “It was really nice getting to know all of you—and I’m sorry for… any awkwardness I may have caused.”

“It was nice getting to know you too,” her mom said, “Feel free to call or stop by anytime.”

He smiled at her, and looked back at Astrid, opening his mouth, and seeming to decide not to say whatever he was about to say. As he walked out with Toothless, she heaved a sigh.

“I’m going to bed,” she said, “Someone—not Alicia—will need to drive me to the airport tomorrow morning.”

She ignored her mother’s call as she trudged up the stairs, entering her room and falling on her bed. She heaved another sigh, staring at the ceiling.

What an end to such a perfect holiday, she thought. She rolled to her side. Well, it had to end _sometime_. And, now the cat was out of the bag. Now everyone knew the truth. Now she did not have to go through a fake break up with a fake fiancé. Now she could continue her life and perhaps… just perhaps… forget about the fact that a three day old _fake_ relationship meant more to her than the accumulation of all the others she’s had.

* * *

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” her dad asked, as they sat in the car.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Astrid replied.

“Don’t be like that, Astrid,” her dad said gently. “I know you’re hurting.”

“Why? Because everyone knows that I lied for five years?”

“Because you met a guy you really like, and you pushed him away when things were just starting,” her dad said. “Look, I knew he and you weren’t really together—ever since I showed him my workshop. Call me crazy, but I liked the guy, so I let it slide. Plus, you’re an adult, and I trusted you could handle yourself.”

Astrid looked at him in surprise.

“You’re a capable girl, Astrid,” her dad said. “You’ve always been able to fix your own problems—and deal with things in your own way.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Astrid said quietly.

“And this time is no different,” her dad continued. “I’m sure you’re going to be able to get through this.”

“There’s nothing to get through, Dad,” she said. “Hiccup and I… it was all just pretend. I mean, the guy was just pretending to be my boyfriend. We don’t know each other. We’ve _literally_ just known each other for… three days.”

“Astrid,” her dad said, smiling at her. “I know how to tell when guys look at a girl and doesn’t feel anything.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked quietly.

“The way Hiccup looks at you—that’s not pretending.”

She looked at him, before sighing. “I’m going to miss my flight,” she said, getting out of the car and getting her luggage from the back seat.

“Call me? When you get safely to your apartment?” her dad called through the open window.

“Fine,” Astrid called back, hurrying into the airport lobby.

She went to the desk to give her luggage to the desk and get her ticket, and hurried to security. She waited in line, thanking her luck for arriving when there wasn’t much of one, and showed her ID and ticket to the agent. As she passed through, and began putting her shoes and bag in one of the bins.

“Astrid!”

She froze, turning to see Hiccup squeezing past people in line to get to her.

“Sir, Sir!” the agent at the check in point said, “Sir, you can’t just—”

“I just need to talk to that women!” he said, pointing at Astrid.

“Well, I can’t let you past this point without a ticket and an ID,” the agent said, as she gave him a stare that would cripple even the most hardened man. Hiccup looked at Astrid, who grabbed her shoes and bag out of the bin and walked over.

“Sir, there are people that need to catch flights—I’m going to need the both of you to step to the side.”

Astrid and Hiccup made way for people checking in. “What are you doing here?” she asked him.

“I… I had to see you,” he said.

“How did you even know when my—”

“Alicia called me,” he said.

She stared at him, “Why would—”

He waved his hands, stopping her, and said, “I needed to talk to you, Astrid.”

“About what?” she asked.

“I know you and I were just pretending to be dating—or engaged—or whatever—and I know we’ve only known each other for a few days… but I really feel like… like we have something special,” he said. “And I’d like to think you feel the same. I mean, those kisses we shared—they were real, at least, I hope they were real. If there’s _any_ way you may consider… bypassing the whole fake relationship thing, and…” he paused, “Maybe having a _real_ relationship… I’d be very happy.”

She stared at him, “Hiccup, I…”

“The truth is,” his hands were gesturing wildly as he talked, as he was prone to do, “I think I’m falling for you, Astrid.”

“Hiccup, we barely know each other,” she said, “And… our entire relationship is based on a façade, and…”

“Well, then let’s start again,” he said. “I don’t want to let this go.”

“Ma’am,” the agent told an elderly woman who was having difficulty continuing on and was watching Hiccup and Astrid intently, “You need to move on.”

“Hold on,” the old woman said, “I want to see how this ends.”

“My flight… is going to leave soon I… I have to go,” she said, turning.

“Wait!” he called out.

“I have to go,” she called over her shoulder, placing her shoes and bag in a bin and walking through the detector. When she got to the other side, she looked back to see Hiccup still standing there, but she continued through to her gate, anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

Astrid sighed into her coffee cup.

“Oh my _god,”_ Heather said, sitting across from her. “What is the matter _now?”_

“Nothing,” Astrid said, leaning over her mug and blowing on it. She did not trust herself to say exactly how she was feeling. Not out loud, anyway.

“Oh really? You’ve been absolutely depressed _all_ week,” Heather said. “And don’t think I don’t know the reason.” When she garnered no reaction from Astrid, she said, “It’s because of Hiccup.”

Astrid rolled her eyes, both at Heather for being perceptive, and at herself for the pang of regret and longing his name incited in her. “I'm  _not_  depressed. Look, I’ll get over it. It’s just…”

“Just what? The fact that he basically told you he was falling in love with you and you walked away?” Heather asked.

Astrid groaned. “What was the matter with me? I mean, in my head I was thinking I had to catch my flight, and it was all so sudden and fast… I guess… I don’t know.”

“I don’t know either,” Heather said. “You messed up. It’s not like you not to tell people what you think.”

“And what do I think?” Astrid mumbled.

“That you like him? Maybe even—”

“Heather,” Astrid interrupted, sending her a glare to shut her up.

“From what you’ve said, you had a magical time with this guy. And yeah, you guys were pretending to be into each other—but you can’t deny that you were _actually_ into each other. And I know you Astrid—you have crazy standards for guys. There’s a reason you’ve rejected every guy your family and friends have set you up with. Now, you’ve found a guy you _actually_ like. I mean, look at you, you’re pathetic.”

“Thanks, Heather,” Astrid said drily, sending her another glare.

“All I’m saying,” Heather said, “Is that I don’t believe in fate, but boy does it like _you_.”

Astrid laughed, rolling her eyes, “It’s not fate, Heather. It’s pure coincidence.”

“Call it what you want,” Heather said, smirking at her, “This whole thing is just too perfect to let disappear.”

“Well, then why hasn’t he called, or shown up?” Astrid asked, voicing what she had been thinking the week since leaving Berk. “I mean, if this was a movie, he would have been at my door the day I got back with a bouquet. But he’s not. He’s… who knows where he is.”

“Because you flat out rejected him?” Heather asked, “I mean, I’m just speculating here but… there’s really only one way to interpret how you responded.”

“Maybe I should just go to him,” Astrid said.

Heather paused, before saying, “If you like him, and you _want_ something with him, then yeah, I think that’s your only option, babe.”

Astrid let out a long breath, and stood up abruptly. “Heather,” she said, “Book me a red eye—I don’t care how much it is—I’m getting to Berk tonight.”

“You got it,” Heather said, grinning as she grabbed her laptop.

Astrid walked to her bedroom to pack a bag of clothes, and as soon as she got her ticket, she hurried out to catch a cab to the airport, heart beating a mile a minute.

* * *

 

She heard the TV running from inside the apartment, and hesitated before she knocked. Would he be angry with her? Would he be over her? Would he turn her away? She supposed, in a way, she might deserve that—but she had to try. She knocked firmly, and waited as she heard footsteps come towards the door. There was a slight pause—was he looking through the peephole?—and she heard the door unlock and it opened, to reveal a confused Hiccup.

“Hey,” she said quietly, “Can I come in?”

He stood there, unresponsive for a moment, before nodding and stepping aside to let her through. She entered his apartment, looking around, but did not have much desire to pay too much attention to their surroundings. She patted Toothless’ head when the dog inspected her, and turned to face Hiccup, who had closed the door and stood a little ways away from her.

“How did you know where I live?” he asked.

“I looked up the phone number of your dad’s place,” she said, “And I called Gobber and he told me. Before you say or do anything else, I need to speak,” she told him, putting both her bags on the floor. “I’m sorry—for pretending your photo was my boyfriend—for forcing you to be _pretend_ to be my boyfriend—for acting inappropriately the whole time—and for dragging you into a lie that I can only imagine hurt you as much as it hurt everyone else, including me.” She took a breath, and continued, “The thing you need to know about me is that I’m honest. Like, crazy honest. The gets-called-a-bitch-five-times-a-day kind of honest. You may have noticed my whole family is too, especially my sister. I’m blunt—I’m not always nice—I don’t pull punches. You can always count on me to tell things how they really are. But… there is an instance in my life where I was not that way. And that was lying to my family about having a boyfriend. And at first it was completely harmless, and I didn’t mean for it to go so far, but it did. And I’m sorry.

“And,” she continued, looking him in the eye, “I’m sorry that I sucked you into it. But that wasn’t the only time I was dishonest. Or at least, dishonest to myself. When you showed up at the airport—it took me by surprise. I thought I’d never see you again—especially after I threw you out of my parent’s house the way I did. I guess… I just felt embarrassed that I couldn’t tell you how wonderful the things you said made me feel—how wonderful _you_ make me feel.” She swallowed, keeping eye contact with him. “I’ll admit there isn’t much that scares me. But how quickly I fell for you… that scared me a little—because I kept telling myself it couldn’t be _real_ —it was too fast, it was too perfect—it was too coincidental. That I was just projecting the fact that in my head, at least somewhat, I was _projecting_ a five year long fake relationship onto you. And maybe it is all those things. Maybe I’m going crazy. But I really like you, Hiccup. And… if you can… get over how things happened, I’d like to…”

She didn’t get a chance to speak. All at once, she was gathered into his arms, his lips claiming hers desperately. Like that Snoggletog night, she let herself melt into him, letting out a soft moan as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She heard fireworks go off outside, and the reporters and crowds on the TV were loudly celebrating.

They broke apart to breathe, but stayed close enough that she could feel his heart beating against her, and could feel his lips against her own. Their breaths mingled, as all thought escaped her mind—leaving only a feeling of content—of untainted happiness.

“Happy New Year,” she whispered, before he kissed her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter… because there wasn’t much left to write ;)
> 
> So, the end to my Holiday Special. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this exceptionally cheesy, cliché, hopelessly romcomy story! 
> 
> Happy New Year! (or at least…the rest of your year ;)


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